This generation is committing murder every year. The Millenials are murdering the English language.
Technically, I was born just at the start of the Millenial era, but I’m taking a stand for our vocabulary—and for keeping brainless words out of the dictionary.
The Millenials have introduced new words into our vocabulary that leave you shaking your head in wonder. Most of the words don’t even make sense, and your only recourse is to head to Google to figure out what someone was just trying to tell you.
Fortunately, terms like “vacay” and “hilare” haven’t been recognized yet. But quite a few new “words” found their way into the dictionary this year. So to help you navigate the waters of 21st Century “grammar” I’ve compiled a list of a few words which have somehow found their way into the online annals of Oxford.
I’ve listed the dictionary definition exactly as Oxford states, but the italics are my own special contribution.
We’re so busy as a culture that when we do wrong, we can’t even take the time to say the full phrase I A-P-O-L-O-G-I-Z-E.
Definition: a relaxing or romantic holiday taken by parents-to-be before their baby is born
Sweet concept, but I apols for thinking that this was the new term for the moon barely being out at night.
Pronunciation: By-odd (just kidding)
Definition: the practice of allowing the employees of an organization to use their own computers, smartphones, or other devices for work purposes
BYOD, BYOB, whatever. Still sounds like something you shouldn’t be toting along.
Definition: used as a substitute for speech regarded as meaningless or stupid, or to comment on a foolish or stupid action
Goodbye DUH, hello DERP. Tell me, who’s more of a derp? The derp or the person using the word derp?
Definition: a period of time during which a person refrains from using electronic devices such as smartphones or computers, regarded as an opportunity to reduce stress or focus on social interaction in the physical world
Mark my words, next up for our culture is rehab from technology.
Definition: a style of dress in which a denim jacket or shirt is worn with a pair of jeans or a denim skirt, often regarded as a breach of fashion etiquette
I guess I’m guilty of breaching etiquette . . . along with the rest of Texas.
Definition: a hairstyle in which a section of hair running from the front to the back of the head stands erect, intended to resemble a Mohican haircut (in which the sides of the head are shaved)
Forget the faux. If you’re going to have a Mohawk at least go all out and do the real thing.
Pronunciation: fəʊməʊ (no kidding)
Definition: anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on a social media website
I’m sure there are people studying in college to become psychologists who specialize in FOMO disorders. Just get off Facebook, people. Works wonders!
Definition: a protruding stomach caused by eating a large quantity of food and supposedly resembling that of a woman in the early stages of pregnancy
Speechless. Utterly speechless.
Definition: an intense and typically non-sexual liking or admiration felt by one woman or girl for another
“Innocent” words like these are desensitizing our morals.
First, we ditched the “-lations” and shortened it down to “congrats”. Slippery slope, that butchering of language is.
Definition: denim shorts
I sincerely hope this doesn’t get wide usage. I just am not up for hearing that word on commercials or seeing it on advertisements.
Definition: time spent relaxing on one’s own as opposed to working or doing things for others, seen as an opportunity to reduce stress or restore energy
Considering that a large majority of our population does this 24/7, I’m almost surprised it took this long for “me time” to get into the dictionary.
Definition: a smartphone having a screen which is intermediate in size between that of a typical smartphone and a tablet computer
Alright. I confess. I have a phablet. . . and I use this word.
Definition: a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website
Words cannot describe how much I hate this word. It’s up there with “bestie” in my book.
Definition: short for seriously
No one is going to take you seriously if you leave those vowels out.
Definition: used to express great delight or excitement
See, I told you we were losing it as a generation. Whatever happened to laughing? Oh right, it changed to LOL.
Definition: withdraw one’s liking or approval of (a web page or posting on a social media website that one has previously liked)
It used to be that if you had a difference with someone, you talked it out like mature adults. Now you just unlike them on Facebook. Crazy.
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